Uniform Behavior is episode 22b of Rocko's Modern Life. In this episode Heffer gets a little taste of authority when he is hired as a security guard.
Summary[]
While en route to the grocery store, Heffer wrecks his dad's car (by plowing straight through it from the momentum of sudden deceleration after slamming the breaks to avoid colliding with a runaway Chokey Chicken that had been knocked down from its respective restaurant, and from not wearing his seatbelt). Heffer is spared punishment for his carelessness only on the condition of paying for the repairs on the car.
Since his allowance cannot cover the damages, his only option is to get a job. Heffer reluctantly agrees, and after searching through the paper for ads, the only one he's qualified for is as a security guard at Conglom-O Corporation. Under the false impression of the job requiring nothing more than to sit and stare at some monitors, and carry a riot stick, Heffer applies for the job.
During his sleep, Heffer, in a dream, meets the "Seven Udders of Justice", who present him with a security guard uniform and inform him of the responsibilities he must follow. Heffer proudly accepts the job.
It does not take long, however, before the Heffer's new job begins to cloud his judgement and corrupt his mind; he begins to think that as a security guard, he has the authority of a top-rank police officer and even harasses his own friends. He demands a form of identification from Filburt and confiscates the latter's comic book for lack of compliance, and issues Rocko a ticket for jaywalking, despite having no authority to cite Rocko for such an offense. Both Filburt and Rocko quickly realize that their friend is turning into someone he's not.
When Heffer's night shift begins, he spends half of it staring at the monitors in his office, passing the time by making goofy faces in front of nearby cameras, and modeling the eiffel tower out of paper clips. Once it reaches midnight, he begins his patrol of the building (On a tricycle, of all things). Finding the dark, empty corridors to be rather scary, he tries to keep his composure by whistling to himself. During his patrol, he hears clattering in a nearby supply room. Believing it to be an intruder, Heffer confronts who turns out to be Conglom-O employee Ed Bighead merely taking a few company light bulbs for use at home.
Heffer frightens him by hollering at him and aiming a flashlight at him. Heffer then demands identification from Ed, who angrily accosts him for his outburst and putting Ed in danger of a heart attack. Disregarding Ed's protests, Heffer questions the contents of the box Ed was holding, which as of now, are broken light bulbs. Blindly seeing this as an act of burglary, a furious Heffer throws Ed out of the building, who angrily swears to see to Heffer's immediate termination as a security guard, and adding that he is a dead man ("DEAD!!!"). Heffer disregards Ed's threats, stating that he's the law.
Continuing his patrol, he comes across two identical twin employees, who speak to him in unison. Heffer once again demands identification from them, who claim to be employees, and shortly afterwards, disappear. Unsure of what to make of this, Heffer makes a run for the cafeteria. Finding himself exhausted and thirsty, he, as a figure of speech, claims to be willing to give his soul for a soda. A bartender by the name of Lloyd promptly appears and asks Heffer what flavor he would like. Heffer orders a root beer float, but is short on cash. Lloyd allows for credit as a substitute and gives Heffer his soda.
Upon his first sip, Heffer finds himself surrounded by ghostly patrons who cackle at him. Through Lloyd's guidance, Heffer makes two of them out to be Filburt and Rocko, both of whom have become disgusted with Heffer's condescending attitude. At that moment, Heffer himself comes to realize what he's turning into. Lloyd then hands him the bill for the soda he drank, which is one soul, echoing his earlier figure of speech. Freaking out, Heffer flees the building and announces his resignation as a security guard, stripping himself naked and running blindly down the street until he is caught and arrested by a police officer for public nudity.
Cringing shamefully (and still naked) in his cell, Heffer is visited by Rocko, who admonishes him for being so reckless. Heffer at first tries to make excuses for it, but then finally takes responsibility and admits that as a security guard he felt "big and important". Disregarding his actions as nothing more than a boost of his ego, Rocko tells Heffer to wait while he goes to post Heffer's bail. Heffer thanks Rocko for being a good friend, but then pushes his luck too far by asking Rocko for a money loan to pay for the damages to his dad's car. Realizing that Heffer clearly has not learned his lesson, Rocko instead tells the guard to let Heffer remain in jail until he does. Heffer at first thinks Rocko's just joking with him, until he hears the door slam and Rocko's voice vanish. Heffer cries for Rocko again as the episode fades to black.
Trivia[]
- The whole episode makes references to the 1980 Stanley Kubrick movie adaptation of Stephen King's The Shining.
- The Robofrog films are a parody of the Robo-Cop films.
- The listing for "Television Exec Producer" says "Huge salary, little work, no cows", and Heffer says "Darn!" despite the fact that he is a steer.
- Heff asks Filburt "Are you feelin' lucky today, punk?!", which is a misquoted catchphrase of Dirty Harry, played by Clint Eastwood (the actual quote is, "You gotta ask yourself one question, 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?!")
- Heffer makes a sculpture of the Eiffel Tower out of paper clips.
Quotes[]
- Announcer: Coming soon, RoboFrog IV. This time, everyone gets hurt. Real bad.
- RoboFrog: Revenge.
- Heffer: Let's see, seat belt, seat belt... Oh, yeah, here we go. (tries to buck, but suffocates) Ah, those are for sissies anyway.
- Heffer: That's a pretty big chicken.
- George Wolfe: Well, boy, good thing you got the body of a tank. But the car didn't fair too when you went through it. WHY WEREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR SEAT BELT?!?!?
- Twins: Hello, Heffer.
- Heffer: Hey, you two, let's see some ID!
- Twins: We work here.
- Heffer: You're trespassing, I'm gonna hafta write you up!
- Twins: We've always worked here... (disappear)
- Heffer: Um...
- Heffer: I need a drink. I'd give my soul for a soda.
- Lloyd: What favor, Heffer?
- Security Guard Ghost: Heeeeeere's Heffer!
- Policeman: 1041, 1041, naked cow in public.
- Heffer: Oh, can I borrow the money to fix my dad's car?
- Rocko: (offscreen) Nevermind, officer. Let him stay there for a while.
- Heffer: (laughs) You're such a kidder!
- (door closes)
- Heffer: Rocko? Rocko? ROCKO!!!