Mr. Noway
Mr. Noway is a lizard who works as an executive at Conglom-O. He appears to work directly under Mr. Dupette. He first appears in the episode Teed Off, where he recruits Ed Bighead to throw a golf game against Dupette. He thinks Dupette is a terrible golfer and wants to make his boss happy by helping him win. When Ed wins (with Heffer's help) after sustaining multiple injuries and needing to use a walker, an enraged Noway beats him up with his own walker.
In Magic Meatball, Noway randomly selects Ed for a promotion by throwing a dart at his name on the wall. When taking Ed to his new office, he finds it still occupied by Ed's predecessor, Ninneman, who Noway fires by dropping through a trapdoor. In fact, the office is designed to either swiftly promote or demote employees, being on an elevator system to be raised and lowered between floors, and the entire floor is one huge trapdoor that drops the hapless employee, if fired, down into the bowels of the building.
Noway doesn't expect Mr. Bighead to last long, in fact preparing to just fire him out of habit after returning to check in on him later, but is surprised when Ed begins (literally) rising through the ranks thanks to the Magic Meatball his co-workers gave him as a joke. Soon, much to Noway's increasing nervousness, Ed is higher up in the company than even him. However, in the meantime, when the Meatball begins refusing to answer Ed's questions, Ed, possibly hallucinating that it's alive, marries it in an effort to make it happy. When Dupette and Noway walk in on this after the latter has just gotten done giving a glowing reporter on Bighead's success, a shocked and embarrassed Noway, witnessing Ed talking to the Meatball in a bridal gown, drops them both through the trapdoor and apologizes to a confused Dupette.
Personality and Traits[]
Noway is one of the few Conglom-O lizards to have a name and a personality. He is laid back and callous, extremely lazy and views those under him as tools for him to use. The only person he sees as above him is Mr. Dupette, because he's the boss. When Noway is first introduced, his laziness is indicated by him doing nothing while languidly relaxing in the Hot Tub Department (bizarrely in full clothing except for his socks and shoes), and his treatment of employees as objects to be used for his enjoyment is evidenced by him having Mr. Bighead brought in on a conveyor hook system in the ceiling and having him give him a foot massage while explaining his plan to help Dupette win at golf.
He is a shameless suckup who believes his position in Conglom-O is based on how happy he makes his boss. Despite the fact Dupette plays golf for fun and not to win and never asked for Noway's help, Noway goes out of his way to rig the game in Dupette's favor, up to and including conspiring with the head greenskeeper to do everything in his power to make sure Bighead loses and Dupette wins. He is also violent when angry, as shown by his treatment of Ed when he wins, using his own walker to hit him.
And lastly, he is shown to be nervous and insecure about his position despite his egotistical view of himself as being others. When Ed got to a position higher than him, Noway started acting fearful and nervous, groveling and sucking up to Ed.
He looks like all the other lizards who work at the company, with green skin, a white shirt with tie and blue pants. He only differs from them in that he has a different voice and a name and his tie is red instead of black.
Trivia[]
- He isn't mentioned by name in Magic Meatball, with the fact the lizard interacting with Ed throughout the episode being Noway indicated by a drawing of him scowling that Ed does of him in frustration, with the name "Noway" and an arrow pointing to him.