This is a transcribed copy of Fortune Cookie.
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Filburt: "Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity."
Filburt: Bad luck? I'm not bad luck. I'm Mr. Lucky. I am the luckiest guy in the world!
Filburt: Rocko, you gotta help me, I— (realizes he has an umbrella open in the house, throws it out the door accidentally ripping off the doorknob) You know that fortune cookie? (tries to put the knob back) Well, after that, I'm walking around, and these black cats start following me. And then I'm in this store, and these mirrors start breaking. And then there's this fire, and everyone's screaming, and, and Big Man's nipples go crazy. And the pigeon— (gets slammed by the door) And the pigeon says, "Hey, it's a trick!" And everyone screams, "IT'S THE TURTLE! IT'S THE TURTLE!" (the entire house falls apart) I think I'm bad luck, Rocko.

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