"Dear John" is episode 8b of Season 3 of Rocko's Modern Life. A satellite-shaped weather balloon crashes into Rocko's kitchen, however he does not have the money to have it repaired in time for a house party. So with some help from a TV personality, they do it themselves.
Rocko and Heffer check Rocko's mailbox to find that everyone got the invitations to his house party. They then notice a satellite, which crashes to the side of Rocko's house and into his kitchen. A fox from the government tells Rocko and Heffer that the satellite is actually a weather balloon and leaves with it subsequently. Rocko attempts to get the landlord to fix the hole in his kitchen, only for Heffer to inform him that his agreement says that the renter is responsible for all objects, whether natural or man-made, that may plummet from the sky. Rocko then answers his door to find a state-licenses contractor from Ferb, who starts laughing maniacally after taking a look at the hole in Rocko's kitchen.
When Rocko and Heffer watch a commercial of a beaver carpenter named Bob "Bucky" Taylor on television, they decide to go to the Convention Center for the home repair remodeling show in an attempt to win a new kitchen. Rocko becomes one of the three contestants of the game show, the other two being Nutsy McNutly, and a can of baked beans the returning champion. The first and only question that Bob Twitchen, the host of the game show, asks is how big Really Really Big Man's kitchen is, to which Rocko responds ""Really really", winning him the game. But he only ends up winning a spoon as his prize and has to win everyday for the rest of the summer in order to win the rest of the kitchen. So he and Heffer purchase a tool kit and a building manual from Bucky to rebuild the kitchen themselves.
Back at Rocko's house, Rocko and Heffer spend all night repairing the kitchen. By morning they finish, only for Rocko to discover that he and Heffer had turned his kitchen into a bathroom. Rocko calls Bucky and orders him to come to his house and fix the mistake. As Bucky arrives, he sends Rocko and Heffer out as he gets his crew started on the repairing. When Rocko and Heffer return, Rocko discovers that Bucky has turned every room in his house into bathrooms and furiously tells him to get out.
Rocko and Heffer decide to throw a bathroom party, where everyone dress in towels and dance. Filburt tells Rocko that he has to do his business in a private area and Rocko lets him use the garage. Bucky is later shown giving an information of bathrooms being built in different parts of the house and is subsequently crushed by a satellite, which hs responds that it needs a bathroom.
- Bob "Bucky" Taylor
- Dr. Hutchison
- Ed Bighead
- Bev Bighead
- Ferb the Contractor
- Bob Twitchen
- Unknown Girl with Glasses
- The weather balloon being mistaken for a satellite is a reference to the 1947 Roswell UFO incident.
- A carpenter named Bob "Bucky" Taylor is Canadian, the beaver is a Canadian national symbol.
- Heffer's line "First remove outer housing plate screw" is reused from "Manic Mechanic".
- The second time Heff wears reading glasses after "Sucker for the Suck-O-Matic".
- It is revealed that Rocko has a closet, a basement, and a ballroom in his house.
- The episode's title is a reference to a “Dear John“ letter; “John” being another name a bathroom.
- Bucky: Don't you worry there, young fella. I brought along my camera crew for assistance and we're gonna fix your house up real nice. Okay?
- Rocko: Terrific. So you'll be doing all the work yourself?
- Bucky: (laughs) Oh, oh, gosh no. Hey, I don't know a hammer from a hemorrhoid. My assistant Al here does all the work. She's a genius.
- Al: Hi, guys.
- Bucky: I'm a visionary and a dreamer. Not really hands-on kind of guy. And I look great in a plaid work shirt. You just run along for the rest of the day and when you return, all your problems will be solved.
- Bucky: Okay, where's my smacky, uh, hitty-poundy thingy there.
- Rocko: My living room, it's a bathroom. My closet is a bathroom. My basement is a bathroom! My ballroom is a bathroom!! EVEN MY BATHROOM IS A BATHROOM!!!!! Well, I guess that's okay. THERE'S TOO MANY BATHROOMS!!!!
- Bucky: "Too many bathrooms? What do you mean? You can never have too many bathrooms."
- Rocko: "Get out of my house you wacko!!!!