Rocko's Modern Life Wiki
This is a transcribed copy of An Elk for Heffer.
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Tooth and Nail" Next: "Scrubbin' Down Under"

Heffer Wolfe: [sees Elkie and falls in love]

Heffer's Heart: Look stupid [pulls down a lever] Stumble over [pulls down another lever] . [Heffer tries to walk over to Elkie and falls]

Heffer Wolfe: [gets back up] Hi.

Elkie: Hi. My name is Elkie. What's yours?

Heffer's Heart: [pulls down a lever] Forget name.

Heffer Wolfe: My name is Tom. NO, wait, that's not right. [tries to remember his name] Jeff. Dan. Joe. Bartholomew.

Heffer's Heart: [pulls down a lever] Try to impress her.

Heffer Wolfe: [starts to juggle anvils]

Elkie: You're cute.

Heffer Wolfe: [gasps] Really?

Heffer's Heart: [pulls down a lever that reads "Musical Fantasy"]

Heffer Wolfe: Oh, I forgot, Cindy took the vow of silence.

Elkie: [whispers to Heffer] Your family are wolves?

Heffer Wolfe: Oh, I was adopted.

Elkie: [whispering] I didn't realize.

Heffer Wolfe: So, would you like to see some embarrassing pictures of me as a child?

Elkie: Sure. [they leave the room]

George Wolfe: [whispering] VIRGINIA, SHE'S STILL ALIVE.

Virginia Wolfe: [whispering] Now, dear. Just be glad he got her here at all.

George Wolfe: Well, I think he's getting a little TOO friendly with the main course.

Virginia Wolfe: Well, Heffer's always been very fond of food.

George Wolfe: Why can't I have any normal offspring!

Elkie: You're not an elk.

Elkie: I'm dating a cow.

Heffer Wolfe: Steer

Elkie: I'm dating a steer.

Elkie: Dinner

Heffer: If you ever want to pursue a relationship with a domesticated farmanimal, I am your guy.